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Stock Market Entertainment

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Stock Market Entertainment

Post by SL.Market on Thu Sep 22, 2011 8:50 am

There will be Short Stories,Song,Poet Saying....
Anything found made us fun? It will be public Here daily as possible....

If any thing You may aware.. let others to enjoy

Your contribution to this tread for beneficially of all the users Is highly appreciated...


Last edited by SL.Market on Thu Sep 22, 2011 8:52 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by SL.Market on Thu Sep 22, 2011 8:51 am

No:1




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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by SL.Market on Thu Sep 22, 2011 6:55 pm

No:2

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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by kavi84 on Thu Sep 22, 2011 8:15 pm


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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by SL.Market on Mon Sep 26, 2011 3:13 pm

No:4

Indian.
An Indian, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The German was first in line; he thought for a while and then said:
"Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said
smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Indian was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said:

"You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Indian replied.

"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it." And what is your second wish?" the Sheik asked.










The Indian said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!





Last edited by SL.Market on Mon Sep 26, 2011 5:23 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by Roboticfx on Mon Sep 26, 2011 3:38 pm

I don't have an unlimited internet connection to watch above videos.


But I tell you, the things that you have posted under N0.4 are not suitable for this forum. Exclamation

Please do jokes without these kind of "adults only" words. Exclamation
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by SL.Market on Mon Sep 26, 2011 5:26 pm

@Roboticfx wrote:I don't have an unlimited internet connection to watch above videos.


But I tell you, the things that you have posted under N0.4 are not suitable for this forum. Exclamation

Please do jokes without these kind of "adults only" words. Exclamation

Ohh sorry my friend... I missed that there are some kids in this forum. That is looking at what they are saying about trading what they did.. hiks

Fulfilled your request and thanks for highlighting it..
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by Roboticfx on Mon Sep 26, 2011 5:30 pm

Thanks SL.Market. You are one of my friends. Very Happy
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by SL.Market on Mon Sep 26, 2011 5:42 pm

@Roboticfx wrote:Thanks SL.Market. You are one of my friends. Very Happy
That is why i neutralized the - rep given to you..
you see some kids here?
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by Roboticfx on Mon Sep 26, 2011 5:55 pm

I'm also a kid!
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by sawdanjema on Mon Sep 26, 2011 7:41 pm

@SL.Market wrote:No:4

Indian.
An Indian, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced:
"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The German was first in line; he thought for a while and then said:
"Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said
smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Indian was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said:

"You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Indian replied.

"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it." And what is your second wish?" the Sheik asked.
good one









The Indian said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!




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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by Roboticfx on Mon Sep 26, 2011 7:56 pm

sawdanjema,
Did u give us -rep?
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by SL.Market on Tue Sep 27, 2011 8:54 am

No:5
To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.


To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.


To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.


To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.


To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.


To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to

A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.


To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.


To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.


Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.


You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member :

LOSE ONE.

The origin of this letter is unknown,
But it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.


Do not keep this letter.
Peace, love and prosperity to all!


Remember...


hold on tight to the ones you love!
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by PGNN on Tue Sep 27, 2011 9:24 am

A man was sick & tired of going to work everyday, while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: 'Dear Lord: I go to work every day & put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.' God, in His infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. ... The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman... He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate... awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home & picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners & stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills & balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box & bathed the dog... Then, it was already 1 PM & he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, sweep & mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids & got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk & cookies & got the kids organized to do their homework. Then, set up the ironing board & watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes & washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops & snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids & put them to bed. At 9 PM He was exhausted, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint. The next morning, he awoke & immediately knelt by the bed & said: 'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, Oh! Please, let us trade back.. Amen!' The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson & I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. But, you'll have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night!"

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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by madeinsrilanka on Tue Sep 27, 2011 10:04 pm

Meeting Mom

My cousin was in love and wanted to introduce his bride-to-be to his hypercritical mother. But in order to get an unbiased opinion, he invited over three other female friends as well and didn't tell his mom which one he intended to marry.

After the four women left, he asked his mother, "Can you guess which one I want to marry?"

"The one with short hair."

"Yes! How'd you know?"

"Because that's the one I didn't like."


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tourists

Tourists ask a lot of questions as we travel between the Hawaiian Islands on my charter boat.
Some people wanted to know, "Does the water go all the way around the island?" Another asked,
"How much further until we're in the ocean?" But the one that made me want to jump overboard was,
"Can you please take the boat closer to the sunset?"

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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by Slstock on Wed Sep 28, 2011 1:31 am

Laughing bounce

Keep going guys.
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by PGNN on Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:08 am

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER

Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore, you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem

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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by yoyo on Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:13 am

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One
wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror,
she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

"Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My
husband's home early!" "I can't jump out the window ~ It's raining out there!" "If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!"

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the
window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly
discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual
marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.

Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend
in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had
been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. "Do you always run in
the nude?" one asked. "Oh yes!" he replied, gasping for air. "It feels so
wonderfully free!"

Another runner moved alongside him. "Do you always run carrying your
clothes with you under your arm?" "Oh , yes" our friend answered
breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run
and get in my car to go home!

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, " Do you
always wear a condom when you run? "

"Nope......... just when it's raining".
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by SL.Market on Thu Sep 29, 2011 3:13 pm

No:5





















Last edited by SL.Market on Thu Sep 29, 2011 4:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by yoyo on Thu Sep 29, 2011 3:21 pm

One day a teacher was talking about marriage in class...
Teacher : What kind of wife do you like Johnny?
Johnny : I want a wife like the moon...
Teacher : Wow !! what a choice...do you want her to be beautiful and calm
like the moon?
Johnny : No, I want her to come at night and disappear in the morning....
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by madeinsrilanka on Thu Sep 29, 2011 7:27 pm

@yoyo wrote:One day a teacher was talking about marriage in class...
Teacher : What kind of wife do you like Johnny?
Johnny : I want a wife like the moon...
Teacher : Wow !! what a choice...do you want her to be beautiful and calm
like the moon?
Johnny : No, I want her to come at night and disappear in the morning....


Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy cheers

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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by SL.Market on Mon Oct 03, 2011 4:30 pm

No:12

stupid question, great response!

For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an Australian..

General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.

Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.

Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you have to love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time.

In a portion of an ABC radio interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military Headquarters.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:!
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio-cast went silent for 46 seconds and when it returned, this interview was over.

Many things depend on our vision…..
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by kumaramcr on Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:15 pm

@yoyo wrote:One day a teacher was talking about marriage in class...
Teacher : What kind of wife do you like Johnny?
Johnny : I want a wife like the moon...
Teacher : Wow !! what a choice...do you want her to be beautiful and calm
like the moon?
Johnny : No, I want her to come at night and disappear in the morning....

Lol..

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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by yoyo on Tue Oct 04, 2011 12:02 am

@SL.Market wrote:No:12

stupid question, great response!

For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an Australian..

General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.

Read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.

Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you have to love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time.

In a portion of an ABC radio interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military Headquarters.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:!
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio-cast went silent for 46 seconds and when it returned, this interview was over.

Many things depend on our vision…..

lol!
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

Post by SL.Market on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:47 pm

No:13









Last edited by SL.Market on Thu Oct 06, 2011 8:58 am; edited 3 times in total
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Re: Stock Market Entertainment

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